Arnold the Newt 3: The Road Trip Part 3

To catch up, read this.

Arnold was ready.  In a deep state of relaxation from Pawse he pulled out of the used car dealership and was once again cruising the streets of Bakersfield, California.  Arnold was a clever newt however and this time he was on it, he was even driving on the correct side of the road.  As he went about looking for a petrol station he remembered it was called gas over here.  After narrowly avoiding some pioneering research into organic gas he found a place.  He sauntered in like it was a bar in a western movie.  Except it wasn’t and people started giving him worried looks.  He caught himself in the mirror and adjusted the green YaMaHaRaHaRa bandanna   As his newty eyes scanned across the alarming bright Hawaiian shirt and the denim shorts he thought the obvious.  Damn I look good.

To the relief of the staff he left the gas station, crossing out the word gas and writing petrol on his way.  He had a full tank of petrol, a tent, a map, a sleeping bag, food and water.  He could begin.  He sailed over the tarmac and fell further in love with the car.  First of all it was a red soft top, Arnold’s favourite colour was red!  The freedom of no roof also did his newt need for space the world of good.  The dents did it for him to, his car was truly unique.  More than that though, the makers had been so thoughtful Arnold beamed.  There were all these fun games to play; like guess the speed or catch the flying car part.  The thing Arnold liked the most were the keep fit indicators.  You actually used your arms to signal!  He was looking forward to be being buff.  Yep, Arnold was a happy newt as he left Bakersfield and entered the sandy desolate fringes of the Mojave Desert.

It was early evening and the sun was just beginning to set.  It looked beautiful, which was a relief for Arnold because until this point there had been nothing but sand and the occasional sun bleached bone.  He was more bored than a MC on an instrumental track.  I feel that if Arnold were to tell you anything right now it would be this, just fly over it.  Then it dawned on Arnold, he had a map!  Without a second thought he swerved off the road with a satisfying tyre squeal  and went to find a more interesting route.  As Arnold explored the Mojave he saw lots of things, but mainly just more sand and cacti – but there was a crazy man rocking unstably on the floor.  “I’m ready for you death claws…I’m ready?” Matthew Angliss whispered shakily.  Needless to say Arnold drove on.  Finally it was dark so he stopped and  put up his tent in the beam of his one working headlight.  Arnold was speechless.  The car was even energy-saving!!

If Arnold had paid attention in geography he would have known that deserts are cold at night.  He went and found the sleeping Matthew Angliss and proceeded to rob him.  He took matches, tinder and an Xpress Games mug, .  Arnold huddled for warmth in his sleeping bag as he watched the fire burn and looked at the star filled sky.  He looked down at the fire and in the flickering light saw a white-robed and hooded figure coming towards him.  Instantly Arnold wished he’d also stolen the gun, he felt around for a weapon.  Ready for action he stood brandishing the Xpress Games mug, it’s strong white surface reflecting the flickering fire.  The figure approached until it was standing the other side of the fire.

“Put down the mug you crazy newt!”  The figure’s voice sounded like a gruff wise old man.

“Who are you?! Are you a death claw?” Arnold stammered, pacing from foot to foot defensively.

“What? No, they don’t exist.  I have been watching you, newt.  I would like you to come with me”.

“So you’re not a jedi? And why?!”

“No, I am a monk – but do not judge a book by its cover.  Seriously, the disappointment.  There’s beer and War of the Worlds on blu-ray”.

“Ok, I guess” conceded Arnold.

“Good, now drive me back – I can’t be arsed with the walk”.

Arnold packed up his tent and he and brother… wait a second.  Arnold! You didn’t ask him what his name was!

“So, what’s your name?” asked Arnold completely out the blue.

“My name young Arnold, is Brother John”.

They continued on for five minutes to a small hill, on which stood a large house. Ivy climbed across the bricks as two Labradors guarded the front lazily.  John and Arnold stepped in.  John disappeared into a room yelling “the beers are in the fridge”.  Engaging his newt-tastic sense of direction he walked down the hall, past a stair case and swung a left.  He was in a room.  A sofa lined the wall and the room stretched down further to a wooden table and a set of french doors.  Importantly though, there was no fridge!  Arnold spied another doorway  next to the sofa though and as he entered it was right in front of him.  It was at this point he respected the monk, hiding a fridge in plain sight right were you’d expect it – in a kitchen!  Skills.  Arnold wandered back to the front door and saw yet another door he’s not seen before next to the stairs.  Arnold entered new door, realised it was a living room and sat down next to John on a big sofa.

“So Arnold try some of this, I call it Round Boy’s Ruin”.

Arnold took a swig and blacked out.

Arnold awoke.  His eyes cracked open letting the cold morning light filter through.  He took the plunge and opened them fully.  He was back out in the desert.   The sand was scattered with big rocks, and a punch bag.  John was there sitting cross-legged and looking focused on a flat rock.  He smiled with the smile of someone that’s about to steal a mans biscuits.

“I glad you’re awake Arnold – now we shall begin.”  As john finished the sentence he levitated.

What followed was an intense training session.  First Arnold meditated, not licking his eyes took great mental strain – a little bit of wee did come out.  Then he ran jogged on the spot before doing press ups.  John like a good monk did none of this with him and just sat there, floating a meter off the ground watching his orders become reality.  It was coming up to mid-day and Arnold was finally given a break.  He was handed a refreshing pint of Guiness and ordered towards the punch bag.

“Now, smash it?” suggested John in a way that really offered no alternative. Arnold did this for an hour.  There were so many beads of sweat on his body they’d knitted themselves together into a stylish cape.  His punches were doing less damage than aggressive feather.  Arnold was on the verge of collapse when John yelled stop.

“That’s enough, sit” ordered John.

“Wha..what am I training for?” Arnold asked breathlessly.

“Oh nothing, you just puked all over my floor after the Round Boy Ruin and I was pissed.  So, you want to float like me – and more?”.

“Yeah, sure, looks like it could be useful” Arnold replied.  John’s eyes flared in anger.  John did not understand however that newts consider themselves pretty super already.

“Ok, drink this”.  John handed Arnold a small bottle.  As Arnold drank it he felt his entire body vibrate.  He wanted to run to all the places as an energy rush over took his body.  Looking down at his palms he saw the lines glow celestial blue.  John handed Arnold the bottle of Round Boy Ruin and gestured him to take a swig.

John took a few steps back as Arnold’s eyes looked in different directions and he slumped to the floor.

To be concluded, again.

David Horn

Arnold the Newt 2: The Case of the Camden Drug Dealers

Arnold the Newt 3: The Road Trip Part 1

Arnold the Newt 3: The Road Trip Part 2

YaMaHaRaHaRA, IRIS, Left of the Right Side and Atlantica at The Bar Below, Folkestone : 26/01/13

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.  Don’t worry it’s not an angry bee; but it was the atmosphere at The Bar Below, Folkestone on Saturday.  Organised by YaMaHaRaHaRa and run by Below the Radar Events and Promotions four big Kent bands took to the stage for YaMaHaRaHaRa’s comeback gig.  Alongside YaMaHaRaHaRa’s  highly anticipated return were Atlanica, Left of the Right Side and IRIS.  All three bands gave the night more support than a super effective push up bra as it built to its close.

First up to kick out some energy across the Bar Below were Atlantica.  As their set began, the lights went dark and a thought-provoking intro sailed across the Bar Below, and then as the drums kicked in the band and helpfully the lights exploded into life.  There and Back Again started the bands set and showcased the bands sound.  Atlantica also showed their experimental side.  I know what you’re thinking, and no there was no hardcore/jazz fusion.  There was however a new addition to the bands set up with vocalist Elliot Dixon using a delay pedal.  The result was some occasionally funny and often genius vocal effects.  Elliot showed his prowess as a front man with a variety of poses and even the occasional crowd invasion,  all accompanied by many facial expressions.    Carried by a tight band, the set even featured guest vocals from Cairn Livingstone.  The set ended with a not yet perfected but entertaining cover of Rise Against’s Prayer of the Refugee.

Image by Sarah Quin / GIGgle Pics.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Following this was Left of the Right Side.  They filled the Bar Below with a rock vibe and captured the audience’s attention once more.  Left of the Right Side delivered another strong performance as even guitarist Shaun Taylor made it out on to the floor.  Despite a few beers vocalist Rich Packman put in an active performance.  Despite some vocal issues he carried off the heavy aspects of the tracks, Left of the Right Side continually getting a big cheer from the audience.  Whether you were at the front of the stage or giving the bar some love, the bands strong and accomplished playing bounced around the room and didn’t fail to impress.  Not to be out done by Atlantica, their set even featured its own addition.  YaMaHaRaHaRa’s guitarist had a brief moment of pretend guitar playing on Shaun Taylor’s guitar as he was playing it.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Engineer Records’ IRIS took the role of main support and didn’t disappoint.  IRIS filled the stage with a big presence and sent sounds cartwheeling across the room.  The  band sounded on top form as they delivered a professional set whilst also evidently highly enjoying what they do.  Playing tracks from their last release Out of Fiction and some new songs IRIS worked the crowd repeatedly.  They even nobly sacrificed their bassist to start a pit, as he jumped into the crowd still playing.  The alt. rockers filled the room with energy from the YaMaHaRaHaRa merch clad front man through to the drummer with an impressively versatile face.  More interactive than an iPhone swearing at you whilst shooting angry birds at your face, IRIS left their mark on you.  Either directly via their bassist or just with big sounds climbing down your ears.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Finally it was time.  YaMaHaRaHaRa took to the stage making Below the Radar’s booking manager Andrew Kesby and a room full of people very happy.  Equally happy to be back YaMaHaRaHaRa delivered a powerful set.  Jokey and friendly between songs, the band then exploded in a frenzy of noise, before ending the song and asking for shots.  A bit like a friendly but thirsty volcano might.  The crowd reacted well to YaMaHaRaHaRa, enjoying and moving rhythmically, dancing?, to the music.  They commented on how nice it was to see old and new faces.  Any new faces however might have had a slight shock as front lady Kate Wintie detonated in their ears.  The whole band played a kinetic and tight set.  YaMaHaRaHaRa went for it so much that at the end of the set they were exhausted.  During the final few songs Kate could be seen laying on her keyboard whilst the band’s drummer sat motionless on the floor when the band finished.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

YaMaHaRaHaRa ended the night in a big way but were ably supported by the performances before them.  As comeback shows go it was pretty big.   See all these bands where ever you can!  Scroll right down to the bottom for one more photo!

David Horn

Band/Promoter/Photography Links:

Below the Radar Events and Promotions

GIGgle Pics on Facebook / GIGgle Pics Blog / Full Photo Album

Atlantica

Left of the Right Side

IRIS / Engineer Records

YaMaHaRaHaRa

Related Posts:

Free Download: Atlantica – In Vivid Colour

Free Download: Left of the Right Side – Skyward

Free Download: YaMaHaRaHaRA – Ribbons

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Image by Sarah Quinn / GIGgle Pics.

Arnold the Newt 3: The Road Trip Part 2

To catch up read this.

“Oi mate, would you like to take a trip? Anywhere, any dimension – £4.78.”

“Wha..?” replied Arnold snapping back into reality.

Upset that he’d left his day-dream of sunshine, heat and Newtfest 2011 he looked about.  The car park was still as dark and dreary as it had been when he left so there was no way he could take off any of his eight layers.  This is especially bad as newts like to feel free at all times.  The loud hum emitting from the glowing orange teleport screen was beginning to do Arnold’s nut in so like all the best decisions, he made a snap one.

“Yes, I would like to take a trip – get me to America.”

“You wanna do it?  Man give me a minute – I have to find the instruction book.”

Arnold got back in his car whilst he considered the attendant’s teleport knowledge.  Safe from the cold in the mountain rescue Landrover he began to panic.  He got flashbacks; the hasty sign, the eight deaths and eight customers and the attendant who’s skill level was doubtful.  Then he hit his head on the wheel in shock.  He hadn’t turned off the light before he left!   Imagine the bill!  And a new light bulb, oh the horror!

“Bruv, you ready?  It’s your lucky day, I just learnt something new.  There’s this button you have to press to make it safe.  You said America right?  I can get you there but I don’t know where you’ll be, I slept through the training session and still got paid – mugs.  Now, that £4.78 mate.”

Arnold ventured out into the cold grasping the exact money tightly in his scaly webbed hand.  Darren took the cash and looked even more annoyed that it was in small change.  Moodily he hit some keys on the 90’s looking computer.  The teleport flickered brightly .. for two seconds.  Darren  looked about as happy as a politician on the public vote of a reality TV show as he dragged his body to the teleport.  He kicked it a few times, looked disappointed as nothing happened and kicked it some more.  Flying in the face of the Kings of Leon song fifteen kicks seemed to be the magic number as the screen blared bright orange.

“Ok, it’s good – drive through quick like.”

Arnold scurried back to the Landrover and drove through the orange.  He braced himself.  He was on the other side  somewhere.  There were roads, trees, even birds – and it was hot!  Arnold licked his eyes in joy, he’d beaten the snow and any awkward tongue stuck to eye moments.  He drove about for a while on the lonely tarmac, instantly regretting not bringing a summer ensemble. What, newts know fashion to – they just choose often to fly in the face of it.  Finally he saw someone.  He pulled up alongside him.

“Hey, I’m a bit lost – where am I?” Arnold enquired.

“You’re English!  Say ‘banana’ and ‘vitamin.”

Arnold looked blankly before remembering this film he saw one time.  Cursing it he hoped for two hot house sharing girls to turn up.  Y’know, the film owed him one good thing after this.

“Ba-narna, vit-amin.  Not helpful.”

“Dude, get liking that – it’s going to happen. A lot.  You’re in Bakersfield, California friend”.

Drunk as a Newt

Arnold rolled into town.  As he cruised down the shop lined road he basked in the gaze of onlookers.  Like a visiting hero clad in arctic levels of clothing in his four-wheel drive steed he understood why they all thought he was awesome.  It was time to park up and get some new threads though.  Mostly as Arnold was not only flying in the face of fashion like a good newt should but also the on coming traffic.  He climbed down from the Landrover and walked into a wall of heat.  Arnold then turned back and left seven of the eight layers behind.

So there he was, Arnold the Newt – conquer of snow, working a green YaMaHaRaHaRa t-shirt and some tatty jeans.  Sweaty legs, the sign its time to change your attire – and Arnold had them, bad.  He walked into a clothes shop, and gravitated instantly to the Hawaiian shirts.  Before he knew what was happening Arnold was at the till with a sunset orange shirt covered in red flowers, a pair of denim shorts and sandals.  He whipped out his credit card with urgency like a man might after handling chilies, forgetting and then going to toilet.  And boom, he was the owner of this … vibrant new outfit.  Fashioning the YaMaHaRaHaRa t-shirt into a bandanna he was ready.  Leaving the store he looked at the Landrover, saw how content it was and left.  Just in time to, he’d walked to another part of town and was chilling by the Fox Theater when he heard the bomb squad had been called in to a suspect vehicle left outside a clothes shop.  Too close.

Arnold liked driving though and needed a car.  He missed driving, so the adventure continued.  He walked round and round until he found a used car dealer.  He perused the selection with care, batting off an intensely annoying and needy salesman repeatedly.  Then he saw it.  A red soft top, it had some great character giving dents.  As he looked it was like it was speaking to him.  He just knew its name was Osmond.  He found the needy salesman who he looked to relieved to have a customer he might need to change his pants.  He spent most of his money on the car and felt good fighting the machine in nearly broke ass style.

He got in, started the engine .. four times and played some Pawse through the speakers.  Arnold was ready.

To be concluded.

Related Posts

Arnold the Newt 1: The Life and Times

Arnold the Newt 2: The Case of the Camden Drug Dealers

Arnold the Newt 3: The Road Trip Part 1

21/01/13: Melrose and YaMaHaRaHaRa

It’s an exciting week for gigs.  To get you in the mood we have free music from pop punkers Melrose as well as the returning band YaMaHaRaHaRa!

Melrose are a pop punk four piece.  The band bring a refreshing heavy edge to pop punk and have a whole E.P for you to check out.  Our free download of the week is the E.P closer No Thanks Man, I’m High On Life.  Melrose start the track with a drum part and riff more infectious than the virus in 28 Days Later.  The band fuse the hooky and relate-able nature of pop punk with heavier riffs and vocals.  The end result is exciting and energetic pop punk/easycore.  Well produced, No Thanks Man, I’m High On Life even throws up a other moments that will do nice things to your inner jelly.

Get your copy of No Thanks Man, I’m High On Life here, alongside the whole Let Me Remind You E.P.  Yours for free or whatever you think it’s worth.  See the band this Thursday (24/01/13) here at The Beer Cart Arms, Canterbury.

Melrose

Next up are the returning Folkestone heros YaMaHaRaHaRa.  Newly reformed, the band have their Ignite E.P available.  From it is the track Ribbons.  Coming at you from the first second with a big and building riff Ribbons is a driving and powerful beast of a track in the choruses.  In the verses however it is a much softer animal, showcasing vocals and lyrics as much as anything else.  Ribbons builds and builds, complete with some powerful guitar and vocal moments.  Passion, motivational lyrics and energy; what more do you need?!  One of three tracks on the Ignite E.P, check it out!

Get your free download of Ribbons here.  See information about the band’s come back show this Sataurday (26/01/13) here at The Bar Below, Fokestone.

Related Posts:

Free Download: Third Place Victory – Against Me

News: YaMaHaRaHaRa Are Back

YaMaHaRaHaRa

The Banned Reviews Takeover 20/01/13

Ahhhhhhh.  It’s good to be back!

Tonight we played some big sounding Kent music, and if we’re honest it did nice things to our inner jelly.  We can’t wait to bring you more weeks of underground and regional music.  We hope you like it, but we’re also open to suggestions!  Comment or email us on bannedrevews@live.co.uk.  Listen again on Friday 6.30 – 7.30 for a repeat!  Listen right now for awesome independent music!

Tack Listing:

YaMaHaRaHaRa – Hit Red / On Facebook

Tyrannosaurus Alan  – S.T.B feat. Jak Brown / On Facebook

Slaves – Nervous Energy / On Facebook

Wildfowl – You Tripped Me / On Facebook

Elle Rayenne – Rayguns / On Facebook

Lizzie Andrews – Rock, Paper and Scissors / On Facebook

Common Outlaw – Catalyst / On Facebook

The Rebecca Riots – Not One Step Back / On Facebook

Tank Trap – Burdened Smile / On Facebook

Pawse – I Need You / On Facebook

Krafty – The Memory of You / On Facebook

Mr Beanie, Rebirth Records – Bass and Dub Mixtape / On Facebook

Much love,

YaMaHaRaHaRa Are Back

After a year long hiatus the Folkestone based YaMaHaRaHaRa are back.  Playing energetic and strong post hardcore rock the band have come back with a bang, with a return gig set for the 26th January.  Playing alongside IRIS, Left of the Right Side and Atlantica the band’s popularity was proven with over 90 confirmed attendants in four days.  When the YaMaHaRaHaRa announced their return they said they were “Thrilled to be back, and cannot wait to see you all again.”

Made up of  Kate Wintie, Andy Wintie, James Kemp and Richard Russel, YaMaHaRaHaRa released their self titled three track E.P available for free from their Bandcamp profile.  Coinciding with their return YaMaHaRaHaRa have also announced the recording of new material.  After several high profile break ups at the end of last year this is a positive change for 2013.

YaMaHaRaHaRa on Facebook

YaMaHaRaHaRa on Bandcamp

David Horn

Related Posts:

Free Download: Left of the Right Side

Live Review: Atlantica

Free Download: Atlanica