Carrier Pigeons

Quite frankly we need to bring back carrier pigeons.

No one likes instant communication, its … well instant and greatly reduces humanity’s in-built scope to waste time.  If instant communication were a person it would be someone small and irritating with an b.o problem.

So lets go back a step, carrier pigeons – they are the way forward.  There are several more reasons for this than just the idea of carrier pigeons shooting momentarily through my synapse.

1) Its been said before (literally several lines ago) but people like wasting time. Facebook, X-Factor, trying to touch your nose with your tongue.  We do nearly all these things to waste time that would otherwise be spent solving world hunger or planning the next mission to Mars.  It’s what people do and enjoy; it will be will greatly enhanced by carrier pigeons.  Even the word creation of the word procrastinating is an almighty effort to waste time.  If someone hadn’t wasted time making this word we could have talking squirrels by now!

2) It would be an event, like Christmas or pay-day.  E-mails, texts, instant messaging; they fly about so fast they make you dizzy.  You can’t see them travelling?  That’s only because you once nearly did, your brain nearly had a melt down and forced you to buy go eat something even though you weren’t hungry. With a carrier pigeon it wouldn’t just be ‘ you’ve got mail’, you’d have a bird flying at your window like someone fighting their own reflection.  It would break up your day amazing.  Then once it’s in you’ve got to catch it; hours of fun.  Even once you’ve caught it, read your note, and released it again it’s still letting you waste time by making you clean up the mess it made.

Carrier Pigeon

3) Instant communication gets everywhere to, like nits in primary school.  One minute you’re on your day off and suddenly that annoying friend that won’t shut up is trying to tell you about something you don’t give care about.  With carrier pigeons that would never happen; mainly because the time they take to reach you with a message is likely to be hours or days.  Giving you plenty of time to ignore the world and finally finish that book you started three years ago.

When you come to reply you’d still have to catch a pigeon, and then you’d never be able to find a pen. Yep, we need carrier pigeons back.

Dave Horn

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