Christmas Songs

Glad tidings oh mighty readers, it is I, your genius wordsmith, Lord Mitch of Emery! Here once more to preach to the masses of followers I seem to have gathered in my short writing career, with my works likened to that of both Marlowe and Shakespeare (although some would say that this is only achieving the penmanship status of a single writer… HISTORICAL CLASSIC LITERATURE JOKE FTW!). Today I touch upon another subject that everybody seems to have an opinion about… Christmas songs!

The idea of writing about this came to me as I was travelling in the back of my tour bus to another sold out night at Wembley arena, DJ’ing to the thousands with David Guetta, Deadmau5, Skrillex and Tiesto in support (all totally in awe of my amazingness)… OK, I was actually hitching a lift in the back of my friends car to DJ at another friends 18th Birthday Party, but that doesn’t have quite the same epicness to it and… well, sod it, it’s my writing! As we travelled, the unmistakably bouncy synthesizer part from a certain Wings song came on. Yes! That’s right people, ‘S-iiii-mply h-aaaa-ving a wonderful Christmas time’. Well, despite the fact it was still only November the 17th, we cranked up the radio and had a bloody good festive sing-song! However, when I mentioned this to a fellow, how shall we say… well-lubricated, party goer later in the evening, he simply remarked how it was ‘too f***ing early to be hearing that stuff yet’… A fair point, albeit bluntly made… Yet I could not help but wonder, was it too early? I mean, no, it was not quite yet December (yes, even at 18 I still have an advent calendar counting down the 25 days until Christmas in December. Laugh all you like, but I’ll get the last laugh with a nice bit of choccy before a long day at work or uni or doing whatever tasks is I have planned that day), but does that mean it was, ‘too early’. To quote the great Michael McIntyre, the minute the last of the bonfire night firework smoke clears, many of us believe the countdown to Christmas has begun!

I personally love Christmas music, everything from the old fashioned carols (‘Silent Night, Holy Night…’) to synth pop festivity (‘Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away…’), a bit of yuletide rock ‘n’ roll (‘Rocking around the Christmas tree…’) to a slice of glam rock merriment (‘SO HERE IT IS, MERRY CHRISTMAS…’), a little tongue in cheek naughtiness (IF I AINT DRUNK THEN IT AINT CHRISTMAS…) and a small left-over helping of the less conventional Christmas anthem (‘F**K YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!’). So have no problem with hearing some lovely festive tunes around me in mid-November. I even took part in a re-recording of the Band Aid Anthem, ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ on the 17th November (yes, I managed to squeeze it in just before my Arena DJ extravaganza! I really am rather brilliant like that, even if I do say so myself). It was an absolutely excellent day in a fabulous studio in the middle of nowhere, with some of my favourite singer/songwriters that I get to perform with on the local circuit and all in aid of the Meningitis trust Charity (you can actually download the song for free. I’ll pop the link here). Everyone involved suddenly had a feeling of festivity and togetherness (clichéd, yet true), which was absolutely marvellous (or ‘totes amaze’ for those more hip and fashionable than my humble self).

So, returning to my original question, when does it become OK to actually play Christmas songs? Perhaps we could set some sort of curfew of the dates they can be played between to help prevent any more arguments? David Cameron, sort it out (or whatever politician would be in charge of suggesting such ruling… Hell, perhaps I could give it a go! Time to form the ‘STOP THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC DATES MADNESS’ party! Anyone who would like to be considered to join please leave a comment below)!

Also, I would like to make it clear that I enjoy ACTUAL CHRISTMAS MUSIC, not whatever the cleverly timed release from the winner of whatever TV singing competition has released in time to snatch up the Christmas Number One single every single bloody year (yes, even though I already owned ‘Killing In The Name’ by Rage Against The Machine in 2009, I still bought 4 more copies of it, just to make sure I had made my contribution). No, I do not have a problem with the pretty much guaranteed Number One single that winning one of these shows pretty much guarantees. Nor do I begrudge the winners this. What I do not stand for though is the timing meaning it falls right upon the Christmas Number One Battle every sodding year! Perhaps it’s high time somebody wrote a Christmas song that could be the Christmas Chart Topper this year! Come on people, we all know that once you’ve had a Christmas hit, you can pretty much live off the money you will gain from it be played and re-released every single year! Think it’s time I got to work on this… Best go find myself a pen, paper and some tinsel. Until next time my lovely readers, farewell! Now where did I put those baubles…?

Mitch Emery


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